What an incredible advantage knowledge like that would afford men in the realm of bar room dating. Insight into her mind; a glimpse at the real reasons, motivations, and desires of a woman. If I could bottle that it would sell like Viagara in Florida. Fortunately, it's available to you, but it takes a little work.

   C'mon men, lets face it; we are usually at a disadvantage to women in the dating scene. We may sometimes feel like a hawk swooping down on a rabbit for the kill, but when it comes down to it, big game hunting takes a lot more finesse. Learning the intricacies takes some brainpower if you'd like to land yourself a woman of quality. Women have been learning and refining the trade of flirtation since the beginning of time, and unlike a helpless rabbit scurrying through the woods, women know we're coming.

   It's already hard enough to tell that a woman genuinely wants to be get aquatinted without having to deal with the smoke screens indifferent women have come to command. Oh, sure she is happy to accept that 8-dollar drink from you, but does she really think your interesting? Did she find your last joke funny, or is she just having you stick around thinking she can "trade up" later? Well, you know one thing for sure; you don't have time for it. There's a bevy of gorgeous women here, and you'd just as soon cut your losses and spend some time with someone who appreciates your company. I once had this problem, wasting my time with unappreciative women, but a class college soon changed all of that.

It's not "Sex-ed." or "Marriage and Family"

   There's a class at just about every college that blows away the smoke screens and levels the playing field. It isn't called Dating 101, but it should be. It's cleverly hidden under the guise of "non-verbal communication". Sitting in class, my brethren were oblivious to these blatant revelations as I sat and absorbed. I felt like Vader turning to the dark side as I twisted and applied each of the scholarly facts to real life situations, and to real life women. The fact is that before we developed language, both men and women did the same mating song and dance the animals do. Now that we use language, we still do the same things, although we just aren't aware of them. It seems "paleocircuits" used to take care of our animal instincts back when we weren't quite the top of the food chain. These circuits in our spinal cord still take hold and make us do things like duck when we hear something loud, but more importantly, women can't help but to subconsciously perform the old non-verbal mating urges. Scientists cued in on this, and consequently most of the research in this field was done in bars and clubs (Always a good place to see prehistoric mating techniques). To check out the remnants of this mating Macarena, you just have to look.

The First Sign

I first applied the theory of "Angular distance" which reveals how we relate to people sitting, standing, or waiting nearby. A woman's upper body unwittingly squares-up, addresses, and "aims" at those she likes, admires, and agrees with, but angles away from those she doesn't. Thankfully this isn't a conscious action. We can use the angle at which they face to gauge interest. Women won't feign complete interest if they aren't…it's usually just enough to keep you hanging. They know that you are on the offensive, and are happy to let you try your best. This attitude leaves them vulnerable to a test.

If she's already decided to face you, no need to test anything, her attention is yours. Unfortunately, this may not be the case. She will probably give you somewhere in-between 50 and 90 degrees, 90 being her shoulder facing you. One study on American college students found that women and men aligned upper bodies midway between direct (i.e., frontal) and indirect (i.e., turned 90 degrees away) with liked partners. This angle decreases as interest rises, till she is facing you. Let's say she's giving you a 45 angle. Here's the test; try reducing that angle slightly by moving to face her slowly. If she adjusts away, that's a sure signal she is wary of further closeness. It's not a good sign, so either pull out some wit or nicely move on. If she's ok with it you're doing well, and we have a green light. Go to secondary engines. "It's so incredibly obvious you have to laugh," says Dale, a 23-year-old Communications consultant from California who speaks from experience. "I've made money at bars betting which girl liked who with my friends. I know within a minute usually. Angular distance signs give it away almost immediately." Want to nail it down whether or not to go to full thrusters? A surefire test is to see if she follows you back the other way. Try angling away from her a little. If over the next minute or two she and angles towards you, she's definitely impressed and you aren't wasting your time. Keep it up big guy, she's yours.

The Second Sign; Mirroring

Maybe she's sitting at the bar so she can't angle, or perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion. Luckily for you there's another way to tell what she's thinking compliments of those old paleocircuits we were talking about. This one takes advantage of the instinct responsible for giving us the urge to dress like those we admire, take on fads, and clap when everyone else is. You're going to have to take note of how she is sitting, so when you do your customary head-to-toe, pay attention. Once you get that info proceed to sure-fire test number 2.

Looking for sign's of "Mirroring" is also good way to get into her head if she's sitting at the bar and angular distance isn't too readable. One of our innate instincts is to match or "mirror" in some way people we like. Now take note of how she's sitting. Let's say your sitting with your elbow on the bar, hand on the side of you head. If she likes what she sees, and your elbow is on the table, hers will probably end up there. On a side note, let's say you don't really care at all what she is talking about. Mirroring is a sure fire way to reinforce the idea your captivated by her tales of the latest Regis and Kathy Lee episode (when your not captivated, just captive).

The Third Sign; Little Things

Like icing on the cake, women hand us a bunch of other signs just in case we are to drunk or naive to figure out the others. Yvette, a gorgeous dancer working in Hollywood tells us, "there's lots of obvious little flirtations I use to lure a cute guy over; eye contact, side-long glances, a sly smile…but when I'm really turned on by the guy I'm talking to, I cant help but to give it away. I always end up playing with my hair and glance down if I'mthinking of what he might be like in bed. I've found it's also a nice opportunity to check him out."

It is true women have mastered and can consciously control most of the more obvious flirtations. Fortunately for us many of those are involuntary and can still give us insight into her thoughts. Yvette's vice of looking down and glancing up is actually signaling a non-threatening aura of submissiveness that long ago, when we walked on all fours, let you know she won't bite (now it means she won't bite…too hard). This is the same reason your dog lowers its' head after you've yelled at it. (You sure as hell better keep that little info to yourself or she may try to knock you out). Twirling her hair is part of what's known as "nervous self touching" usually accompanied by touching her mouth or face. Another obvious but often unnoticed sign is flush cheeks.

It turns out this reaction is the reason women wear blush in the first place. Women probably don't remember why, but they do know it certainly catches the eyes of men. (Damn right it does…our own animal instincts recognize it as that rosy glow of sexual attraction signal from age-old mating rituals). Nowadays in dating it's a reaction to an increase in emotional uncertainty as she wonders what your next move will be. You've got her on the defensive now. Be careful though; this consequently is the same physical manifestation of extreme anger, and may get you slapped as well. Make sure she has a smile to go along with it.

The signs are there for the taking; now that you know, these holdover instinctive reactions will no longer go unnoticed. I've summed up the juicy parts of 6 semesters for you to even the playing field. You are now of the initiated few men who can, for the first time in history, say with some shred of truthfulness, "I think I have an idea of what she's thinking". You have learned much Grasshopper, you may leave the temple.

B. P. - CSUN 96'